Poor me!
Sniff…slobber… I got yelled at last week.
No really, I did. Serious CAPITAL LETTERS and a tap on the bum. By Mom nogal!
Heard Alpha’s little car roar up in the driveway and dashed off to fetch my ball.
Grinned at mom. Go on. Open the door then.
She opened the door and some devil dog dived into my lovely furry bod and took over.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
As the door opened I spotted my nemesis. Flew down the little step, spat out the ball and charged up the road… desperate to have a go at that dastardly little snack that torments me so often. Lucky for her, her owner scooped her up and my snapping fangs missed by a millimeter.
Was about to take a mad leap to try and dislodge her from her the safety of her owners arms but was thwarted. (Okay, would not have gone that far – my hackles were all raised and I must have looked splendidly fearsome.)
Mom had dashed after me, brandishing the kitchen scissors that she had been using.
She rudely grabbed my collar and shrieked at me. Wondered for a moment if she was going to whack me with the scissors but she swopped hands and tapped my furry backside with her other hand.
Did you ever! How rude – smacking your doglet in public. Think I should inform the SPCA immediately for misuse of Miss Fudgie-wena.
Then she gabbled something about being sorry.
Hroof – I was sorry too – had not managed to get my fangs on the wretched snack.
Turns out she was not saying sorry to me – oh no – she was saying sorry to the snack’s humans.
Alpha had wandered up by this stage and was adding his two pellets worth.
Mom impolitely yanked me back inside, barely giving me time to collect my ball. She was still bawling me out and wagging the scissors at me.
BAD DOG Fudges! You know you are not allowed to dash into the road like that. A car might have got you.
Yeah yeah. Speak to the paw because the ears are not listening. Oh wait… what am I hearing? You were more worried about a car getting me than me getting that foofie little creature. Snik snik snik…
Alpha followed her in and shut the front door. Smiled at him and wagged my tail.
Turned out he was also miffed with me and there was to be no ball playing for a while. Went off to sulk in the last few rays of sunshine.
Heard Alpha asking mom what happened. Mom started whispering… ah ha – pricked up my ears to have a listen. She always whispers when she does not want me to hear.
That wretched little creature runs around outside all day, yapping and barking – driving poor Fudgie mad, murmured Mom. Guess she just lost it when she saw her trotting down the road and went for her.
No excuse thundered Alpha. She can’t go round eating the neighbourhood mutts.
My woggly whiskers! I wasn’t going to EAT the rotten little furball – was just going to frighten it a bit. Like scare the furry knickers off her. Or better still; scare all the yippity yaps out of her.
I tell you – had to some serious smooching to get back into Mom’s good books.














